The Office of Violence Prevention (OVP) hosted its first Connection Collective on Feb. 10, bringing undergraduate students together on the conversation of healthy relationships. This event was the first of the group’s events as they plan to host at least two events a semester to create a group to bring together students to talk about important topics regarding relationships.
The event started off with a “getting to know each other” session, where attendees were encouraged to eat some food and enjoy the mocktails while mingling with those around them. The event was a laid-back style that was a safe space for those to talk about their experiences and to feel like they would not be judged for what they said.
Marie-Danielle Attis, Assistant Director for the Center for Student Involvement & Coordinator of OVP said that this event, while it was open to everyone to join, was targeted to first-year students who were new to college. She said that coming into college, freshmen are more likely to be vulnerable and are open to new environments, and this group is to talk about important issues that they may deal with.
Following the quiet getting-to-know section, the group went around to introduce themselves with a fun fact about themselves in order to break the ice and get talking. Once introductions were done, Attis instructed attendees to pair up and to choose three different flags on the table, green representing healthy relationships, yellow representing unhealthy relationships and red representing abusive relationships.
After all the attendees got their three flags, Attis ran through 12 different situations in which the situation was healthy, unhealthy and abusive. After each of the situations Attis would ask the attendees why they chose a specific flag and why they think it was right. In order to get the group thinking about the multitude of the different situations, she would then switch up certain wording in situations that could go from unhealthy to abusive. There she would discuss how quickly unhealthy can go to abusive with just that change of control and boundaries that are set.
“It is important to remember that if in a situation where the individual has talked to their partner about an action and that they deliberately do it after being told not to,” Attis said. “It is abuse and not unhealthy.”
The next activity for the night involved pamphlets that were given out to the students. The pamphlets were on the topic of consent and led to the discussion of what sexual consent is. Students were asked to talk about what sexual consent means to them before being given the definition that came on the paper.
This discussion followed the sexual consent flow chart on one of the two sheets that had students run by each of the situations where they would once again talk about it and decide whether or not to proceed on the chart.
Each discussion led with the topic at hand and let the students fully immerse themselves into the discussion so they could understand the topic at hand. It was an opportunity to explain power dynamics in relationships and ideas of what a relationship is in terms of consent in sexual relations.
Ending the night of the first event, the group discussed the final paper that followed the steps of consent, and how they can use it in their own lives. The sheet laid out the different situations and conversations students may have in relationships in their own lives and give them guidance in what to do. The paper also gave students outreach support if they ever need it in situations of lacking or flawed sexual consent.
Throughout the event, students were able to ask questions and make comments on the discussions so that they can be a part of the discussion. Attis said that, “Healthy relationships are important.” This event is one the ways in which healthy relationships can be shown and to be put into practice for college-aged individuals.
For more information on Connection Collectives other events and other events for healthy love check out https://www.ramapo.edu/csi/ovp/.
rbleich@ramapo.edu
Featured photo by Rebecca Bleich
