When I became the section editor for Arts & Entertainment, I hoped that before my time with The Ramapo News came to an end, I’d have a five-star movie review. Friday, “Longlegs” writer and director Osgood “Oz” Perkins released “The Monkey.” The film is an adaptation of Stephen King’s 1980 short story; and I’m still waiting for that five-star movie.
Perkins’ trailer promised a chilling, atmospheric horror — but if “Longlegs” taught me anything, it’s that a great trailer doesn’t guarantee a great movie. From acting to character development, writing to cinematography, “The Monkey” is not just a letdown — it’s a dull and borderline embarrassing adaptation.
The movie follows Hal Shelburn, played by Theo James, through childhood and adulthood as he and his twin brother, Bill, deal with an evil wind-up monkey. When they wind up the monkey and he brings his drumstick down, someone dies in a “freak accident” — they never know who he will choose next.
The original King story spends much more time on the boys as children, haunting yet delicately describing the hidden evil of the toy. In Perkins’ version, we see much less exposition and more of Hal as a self-described “deadbeat” dad to Petey (Colin O’Brien), but not even as King had written it.
Of course, adaptations require creative liberties, but turning the work of one of the most celebrated horror writers of our time into something this cringeworthy and lifeless is baffling. The dialogue feels forced, the character depth is paper-thin and the overall execution lacks the tension needed for effective horror.
Aside from the mediocre performances from James and O’Brien, the writing was the breaking point for me. Perkins tried to turn “The Monkey” into a comedy, and it did not work out in his favor whatsoever. A movie like “Heart Eyes” perfectly blended horror and comedy, and I think what made it work is that they weren’t trying so hard. Here, the so-called quips were painfully out of place.
One of the most dramatic moments in the movie, for example, is obliterated by a joke so forced, it doubles as one of Bill’s only defining character traits. Disney’s “Liv and Maddie” did a better job of showing the same person acting in two different roles.
I am also just so sick and tired of every single horror movie coming out these days attempting to be camp. Not everything needs to be both a thriller and a comedy, not everything needs to have crazy kills, and, say it with me, not everything needs an adaptation!
As a long time horror fan, it has been quite a while since a movie has genuinely scared me. I want tension, good performances and meaningful writing. At this point in 2025, it should not be this hard to find those fundamental qualities in a horror film. Enough with the attempts at camp — let’s try actually having an effect on the audience for once.
I give a very generous single star for the monkey itself, as it definitely had its moments. But in reality, the scariest part of this movie was how it took an iconic piece of writing and turned it into an unremarkable snoozefest.
1/5 stars
ajones11@ramapo.edu
Featured photo courtesy of @neonrated, X
